Could I show you my sketchbooks with doodles from the past? No. Because I didn't have them.


I never had a draftbook with unsuccessful sketches, never tested crayons, didn't try drawing standing dog or dog on the floor, or a person en face or from the side, I never allowed myself to try and fail. I used to buy many copybooks and notebooks, and white pages intimidated me. I was paralysed with fear of spoiling even one page so when I drew something it was just as it was supposed to be, pretty and perfect, on the target paper.

Also, I was scared that if I drew something in the draftbook and it was good, I'd never be able to draw it again on a new piece of paper, it can happen only once in my lifetime and I'll never ever be capable of repeating this one drawing, never!...

And that time that I waste on drafts and trying out different sketches, I could already work on the final perfect version!...

It's not true talent is everything. Of course, you have to have some inclination towards making art, ideas for techniques to use and themes to choose from, but in my opinion the most important thing is practise - getting to know your tools and teaching our eyes to see in a special way and our hands to get used to some gestures that guarantee the repetitiveness of what we do and giving birth to our style.

Finally I took out the sketchbook. I want to add new topics to my art which means I want to learn to draw new things I never tried before and to use paints in new ways. I want to learn colour theory and mixing so I'd be able to carry a smaller palette with me when I paint outside. All that requires trial and errors.

The errors I'm going to allow myself to make. ^^*~~

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